| Wheeeeeeeee! |
[11 Aug 2007|08:22pm] |
OMG *squee* found a song I've been looking for for 2 years!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Squees some more*
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| What a productive day!! (not!) |
[11 Aug 2007|06:33pm] |
Well... I'm sure I did have things to do today *thinks* don't remember what tho... So I spent the day in a semi conscious hungover & drugged state, watching (hahaha) Starved... Had some really bizarre thoughts/dreams/hallucinations/whatever that I suspect had more truth in them that I am willing to acknowledge... *is currently repressing*
Finally dragged my arse out of bed @ about 4:30 and went to hit up the local chemists for more drugs... And it sucks only being able to buy X number of pills... it doesn't stop me getting what I want but means it takes five times longer than it should cause I have to go to 5 different chemists!!! And I noticed today I have become a very accomplished liar... I used to suck at excuses for buying pills... now they trip off my tongue soooo easily! *is kinda worried about that* I don't really approve of lying... and I don't lie as a general rule... so to hear myself spinning tales of ailing mothers and doctors advice... yeah... scary!
and there was a cool singer on the bandstand in Bletchley... not professional or anything... but she had a pleasant enough voice and was singing some good songs (didn't recognise any of them tho) shame the vocals kinda drowned out the music a bit, I think they had something set up wrong... I wish I'd had time to sit and listen for a bit.
So yeah... today was a bit of a washout, but at least my head has stopped pounding.
Oh and just for my own record: Goal #1 met today! Onwards to #2!
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[10 Aug 2007|07:28pm] |
So... I had this big long post written... but I decided to summarise as I know no one likes reading long posts - I suck @ knowing what to say... always - I have LJ entries that I want to comment on open for days in my browser and I will usually type at least 3 responses (if not more) which all get deleted... same goes irl I can never find an adequate way to verbalise my thoughts. So to keep this short, if you are on my friends list I read your LJ... and by that I mean I read every entry... so don't assume cause I don't comment I'm not reading.
Also two sucky things today, can someone please inform my body that 'that time of the month' is only supposed to happen 1 week out of every 4 (not the other way round) *grumbles* and the lump in my throat is steadily getting worse... and irritatingly my fingers are too short to reach it... (assuming it actually exists and is not a figment of my imagination - what my doctor told me) does someone with long fingers wanna poke around in my throat?? No? Damn!! *is having thoughts involving brillo pads and cheese wire*
And random observation of the week: Nothing quite like trying to convince your doctor that you don't suffer with anxiety while starting to have a panic attack... about the doctor thinking you are anxious...
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| drunken rant |
[07 Aug 2007|11:30pm] |
So I watched another "based on a true story" fucked up teen film tonight... bought it ages ago but never actually watched it... just... Why oh why does every single film like this have to have the same plot!?!?!?!
So starts out, little perfect 12/13 yo child (usually a girl) is under so much pressure/so unhappy with her *woes is me* life that she starts "X" abusive behaviour. X escalates out of all control yet parents fail to notice REALLY obvious signs... and eventually parent finds out/is told by child/nosy neighbour/whoever. Parent and child have meaningful chat/cry/screaming match, child gets therapy/has a stay in a loony bin/writes a book etc. and *wow* gets better and goes on to lead a happy life!!!!!!!!
I cannot explain how much this stereotype has pissed me off!!!! People, it does not work like that! Any and all destructive behaviours are not to be toyed with cause they will not miraculously vanish the second daddy says he loves you or as soon as you hit the loony bin! They are not cool or fun or testament to how *emo* you are! They are (guess what?) DESTRUCTIVE!!! They will destroy your life, your friendships, your health or your sanity... and you know what? You never fucking get over it!!! You may eventually learn to cope... but it's like quitting smoking, the thought is always there... it will always be the crutch you reach for in a moment of weakness or need.
And honestly I think kids would be less likely to try these things if they weren't glamorized... *blames Hollywood* I know you'll always get your idiots *is an idiot* but I see so many wannabes... all over the place...
Also I hate the fact that cause the wannabes parade their supposed dysfunction of choice so that is what jo public sees... and judges the rest of us by!
Here endeth the drunken rant and exclamation mark abuse!
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| The Avie Says it All!!!! |
[06 Aug 2007|07:26pm] |
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So... I have tidied my room tonight... anything to put of piano practise (Yay! it's like being 12 again!!) *rolls eyes at self*
But I have gathered together an impressive amount of evidence of how 'butterfly minded' I am... I have my bed piled with unfinished projects and leftovers of stuff I lost interest in... and wow! there is a lot of it... I have beading stuff, lace making, half a patchwork quilt, half a crocheted quilt (not my fault it is unfinished), the knitted doll I started for the village show, the jar covers I was embroidering, tons and tons of wool & yarn & needles/hooks for various project, cross stitch sampler (nearly finished), about 10 half filled notebooks (most with short stories in - some finished, some not), the beginning of my novel (Hahahahahahahaha!!!) and as the crowing glory the guitar - which I really did have good intentions about learning to play (yeah yeah the road to hell...)
*sighs 12 year old style* have to go practice now *flounces off*
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| Last post for the night |
[06 Aug 2007|01:08am] |
You can have one super power, any one you can think of. ie: everything you touch can turn to gold, or you could fly, or be immortal, or impervious to harm or anything you want.
Then tell me why you want that one power - and any conditions you would like to place on it (ie if you have the "turning everything to gold" power you'd probably want yourself excluded or pretty soon you'd be a statue!)
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| I hate my step family |
[05 Aug 2007|02:44pm] |
Somebody kill me now!!! This is torture!
They've only been here and hour and they are driving me up the wall!!!!!!!!!
I think I may just take a couple of the sleepy time painkillers and spend the rest of the day in a drugged haze... anything to avoid actually having to be present.
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[29 Jul 2007|10:40pm] |
Online Videos by Veoh.com
Subscribe to Douglas Clegg's free newsletter and get screensavers, ebooks, and more at www.DouglasClegg.com
Hopefully this will work this time... Lookie at the pretties :)
Edited to add this looks pretty cool... book shopping for me tomorrow :)
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| Stolen from <lj user |
[30 Jun 2007|09:01pm] |
You are most like:
Black |
You are bold with a dark side. You make clear lines wherever you go, though you color outside of the lines. Many people may just see the surface of you and think you are merely plain, but you have a lot of depth to you as well.
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Take this quiz: Which Crayola Box of 8 Color Are You?
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*rolls on the floor laughing*
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| Stolen from <lj user |
[30 Jun 2007|09:01pm] |
You are most like:
Black |
You are bold with a dark side. You make clear lines wherever you go, though you color outside of the lines. Many people may just see the surface of you and think you are merely plain, but you have a lot of depth to you as well.
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Take this quiz: Which Crayola Box of 8 Color Are You?
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*rolls on the floor laughing*
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[28 Jun 2007|11:15pm] |
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OMG!! I did it! I have a Permanent Account!! Squee!!
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[28 Jun 2007|05:22pm] |
Oh I want a permanent account!! I know its a lot of money and I don't need it and will I still be here in 5 years (the time it would take me to get my moneys worth) and I have a good bit of paid time left (thanks to my secret friend) BUT I WANT ONE!! :'(
I keep trying to be sensible but WANT!!!!!!!
I know I'm gonna cave at the last minute and buy one!
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